Jack & Jill

Just imagine…

What could terrify Jack Sadelstein(Adam Sandler), a successful advertising executive the most? Do not let your imagination run too far! It’s his twin sister, Jill’s (also played by Adam) annual visit on the Thanksgiving! Jill’s Stupor & belligerence is exasperating to jack.

Jack thinks the only way to get Jill on track is to find her, her special someone! Meanwhile Jack’s boss wants him to convince Al-Pachino to shoot a commercial for dunkin’ donuts! Al meets Jill & is fascinated by her simplicity! Jill falls for a Mexican guy! Then ensues at least 10mins. of farting & indigestion jokes! Amidst the “romantic triangle” & over the board stupidity, it seems the movie’s saving grace is 2min sp. Appearance of Johnny Depp & the real twins that talk about themselves, prior to & post, the story of Jack & Jill! Bad script wastes the actor’s potential & a strong premise that could have led to an excellent comedy flick!

If you have watched “the grown-ups” & expect similar EQ(entertainment Quotient), then you are bound to be disappointed!

This movie did help me come up with a new rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a script of farter,

God knows why they made the movie,

It’s such a huge disaster!

Watch it with a can of cola, a tub of popcorn & a nursery rhyme book, after all you might find the idea of reading Jack & Jill better than watching it!

L(ov+uc)

Dam 999

Just imagine...

What would happen if a Dam collapsed? How many people would die? & what would happen if a pathetic 3D romantic movie is made on the backdrop of such a disaster? Ans: Audience would curse DAMN! & Collapse in their seats!

The premise itself is miserable, as it suggests that the collapse of a Dam is a result of expression of love by our hero, for his childhood sweetheart, Mira, whom he could not marry as their horoscopes did not match! The girl’s father (Rajit Kapoor) is an infallible astrologer & an ayurvedic doctor & is dead against the communion!

There are in all 9 characters including hero’s friend, a mariner & his beautiful wife, Razia, mariner's sister & brother-in-law (Aashish Vidhyarthy), hero’s little son & hero’s British wife Sandra(Linda Arsenio). All entangled in a mess!

The movie gained unnecessary publicity due to Kerala-Tamil Nadu dam controversy, which indeed has nothing to do with the motion picture!

A muddled plot, pathetic performances & feeble VFX are the primary factors to avoid such a disastrous waste of time & money! It’s 3D stands for 3^rd Degree torture!

DAMN it!

L(ov+uc)

The Help

Just imagine...

A white, young, educated & rich woman interviewing a black, old, marginalized maid! How does it feel to raise WHITE children when your own are left at home by themselves? How does it feel to work for the WHITE? Do you dream of being someone else? Asks Eugene Skeeter (Emma Stone) to Abilene Clark (Viola Davis)

Based on Kathryn Stockett's novel, the film revolves around racial discrimination in Jackson, Mississippi during the early 1960's. Young Miss Skeeter has just returned to Jackson, after completing her education & has landed up with a job as a "cleaning" columnist rather than finding a suitable groom for herself. Since her maid Constantine (Cicely Tyson), who worked for her family for 29yrs., has been fired, she asks for Abilene’s help, as she herself knows nothing about the "cleaning" due to her privileged background. Eugene desires to be a writer & is in search of a subject that has not been written about.

On one of the "Only WHITE" Bridge club parties Skeeter's friends, Elizabeth & Hilly discuss about how "separate" toilets for the BLACK maids are necessary, highlighting the raciest nature of Miss Hilly(Bryce Dallas Howard).

Lightning has struck & this is what Skeeter wants to write about: Racism, from the maid's perspective!

Hilly later has to "Eat Shit" (literally) after firing her maid Minnie (Octava Spencer), for using the same bathroom as the WHITES. Minnie’s new employer, Celia, is exactly the opposite of Hilly.

How were the BLACKs treated? Were all the WHITES racists? What was the norm in the early 60's? What kind of legislation applied to the BLACKs? & many more questions answered through the characters, brought to life, by the dint of Flawless acting of the entire cast.

The main drawback of the movie is its story line! If Skeeter is so bothered about the help, why doesn’t she share her income, as the columnist, with Abilene? Why doesn’t Abilene get credit for the cleaning column? Why would the maids in the first place, trust Skeeter, when her own mother has fired Constantine? Why doesn’t Skeeter Insist on knowing other maid's story before the publication house demands more interviews? Why are the WHITE men never in the picture, weren’t they as racists as their counterparts?

Though the movie has its flaws & raises more questions than what it answers, it is a MUST WATCH! Stunning performances make up for the flaws!

L(ov+uc)

Happy Feet: Two

Just imagine…

A penguin concert in an ice-covered emperor land, far away, where all the penguins sing & dance except little Eric (Ava Acres), the son of Mumble (Elijah Wood) & Gloria (Alicea Moore). Eric has two left feet & is mocked at due to his lack of talent, which instigates him to run away along with his two buddies. In another penguin land the kid-penguins meet “Swen”(Hank Azaria), a puffin that falsely claims to be a “flying-penguin” & is a self-proclaimed miracle-penguin. He Inspires Eric & gives him the secret of his success viz: If you want it, you have to will it; if you will it, it will be yours!

Everyone is tensed at the sudden disappearance of little-penguins. So a search operation is carried out by mumble, in which he succeeds. while returning, Mumble helps save the life of an elephant-seal, Bryan. No brownie-points for guessing that Brian will help Mumble in the later part of the movie!

Meanwhile, somewhere in the ocean, Will (Brad Pitt)-the krill, wants to get out of the regular “swarming” mentality. In the quest of an adventure Will, along with his best buddy, Bill (Matt Damon)-the krill sets out to find the ‘end of the world’! Frustrated about being at the bottom of the food chain, Will gets ambitious & wants to eat something with a face! Will this pair of krill survive? How would their adventure turn out to be?

On returning, mumble & company see that the emperor land penguins are stuck in a steep valley-like formation, due to a calamity (Ice-berg sliding). Cut off from Food, how will the penguins of Emperor land survive? Their only hope is Mumble, but how can he fish for such a huge population? What will they do to survive?

The story is a jumbled up mess, too preachy & confusing for the kids; too boring & predictable for the adults. It scores high on animation & given the fact that there is little scope to show expressions on a penguin’s face, Voice-overs have done an excellent job! The scoring point is the “story of the Krills”-will & bill.

If you are going to watch the movie keeping in mind the award-winning prequel then you are bound to be disappointed.

Watch it with a tub of popcorn & a can of cola, just to save you from Cold-Feet! 

L(ov+uc)

Twilight Saga: The breaking dawn (part I)

Just imagine…

Flowers, Champagne, Cake, Music & everything else that can be thought of, to make Out-of-the-book wedding (literally), of Vampire, Edward Collin(Robert Pattison) & Human, Bella Swan(Kristine Stewart), picture perfect! No treat for guessing werewolf Jacob’s (TaylorLautner) reaction! Post bed-breaking passionate honeymoon Bella realises She’s Pregnant!

The Collins don’t know if such a “thing” is even possible! So to find out they resort to the only option we humans have: Google! Nevertheless, this foetus is inexplicably rapidly growing & taking a toll on Bella’s health; crushing her bones, reducing her pulse & probably depleting her RBC count! Once again Edward & Jake come together, to try to convince Bella to get an abortion, in order to save her life! Obviously our paradigm of principles, Bella decides to give birth to her child, even at the risk of her life. Adding to the DQ(Drama Quotient), the Werewolves think that such a “hybrid” vamp-sapien would be a threat & hence should be destroyed before it is born. Naturally, Jacob leaves the pack & makes another one with two wolves, after all the sole purpose of his existence is to protect Bella, isn't it?

Will Bella give birth to the child? Will the child let Bella survive? Will the werewolves succeed? Will Bella live? Can & will Edward convert her?

The movie is better than its prequel eclipse & sets the mood & raises the expectations for its sequel. Edward & Bella are now in a more mature mode & it is refreshing to see Bella in a more of active role rather than self-pitying & Melancholic role!

If you have seen the three prequels you might as well watch it, it’s worth a watch then. If you haven’t viewed the prequels & still want to watch the movie, don’t worry, you will be easily able to guess the story that precedes the wedding.

 Is it required to mention that it’s a must watch if you are a Twilight series fan or if you like Romantic "supernatural" fiction!?

L(ov+uc)

Desi Boys

Just imagine…

The time of recession, when there is more firing than hiring & more bills to pay than checks to deposit. In such a wretched situation are our lead characters Jerry (Akshay Kumar) & Nik (Jhon Abraham) wherein Jerry has to look after his nephew, veer & Nik has a high-maintenance girlfriend Radhika (Dipika Padukone).

No job, no money & no hope: the only way such a situation is portrayed in a Bollywood movie is by showing sad looking protagonists at a bar trying to get drunk! How cliché! Then enters their saviour Sanjay Dutt, who runs a recession-proof male-escort company, Desi Boys. From then on till the intermission the movie is a costume party, Jerry & Nik dress sometimes as police officers (Mumbai police in UK! & women go gaga!), sometimes role-play male strippers & what not! But in every bachelorette party they “lend” their services, the females dancing in the background seem to be performing a strip show rather than our lead escorts!

As if the situation isn’t worse enough, Radhika catches Nik “red-Handed” & breaks off their engagement & Veer is snatched away from Jerry & sent to foster care. & now on the movie is all about Moral-science! Nik stays in a caravan parked opposite Radhika’s house in order to win her back (Tere ghar ke saamne- another Cliché). In order to make Nik Jealous, Radhika goes on a date (yet another Cliché), with Ajay (Omi Vaidya), who is by far the most genuinely funny character in the entire movie, irrespective of the great garam-Masaledar Jodi of AK & John! Jerry goes back to complete his graduation in order to make himself employable! Enter Chitrangadha as Tanya,an economics professor who plays Strip-Pokery-revision-Quiz with Jerry! Obviously with such a great Quiz mistress & revision sessions Jerry is bound to get his degree & Naukri.

Do not strip if you get the rest of the story right! Jerry gets back the custody of his nephew & Nik his lady love.

It may be the male version of Laaga Chunri mein daag, just a bit funnier. The movie has its witty bits; one-liners & killer PJs that will make you laugh & keep you alive through the movie.

Nothing lost if you decide against watching it; nothing gained if you decide to watch it.

L(ov+uc)

What an idea mai!

Just imagine...

A two minute advertisement of Idea mobile streched to make almost 2 hour soap opera! Moreover they used 3G too, quiet literally, the movie is about 3 generations: grandmother, her sons & daughters-in-law & grandchildren.

Mai (Usha Nadkarni), before dying leaves clues that would lead her sons to a hidden treasure in their ancestral village. All this in order to bring peace, harmony & bonding amongst the family members who are almost always at logger heads with each other. In their "treasure hunt" expedition, they realise the value of each other.

Bad script, terrible acting & too many unnecessary characters spoil what could have been a very good premise for a successful film. The Annu Malik act of Ctrl C+ Ctrl V in the background score is nauseating, factually speaking I have heard almost the same score being played in the Palladium washrooms at Phoenix Mills!

The movie definitely has its positives, as it has taught me two most important virtues, Patience (I watched the entire film!) & Persistence (I am writing a review about it on my blog!)
Do Not Watch, if you do not like TV Soaps!

However if you still decide to watch the movie, don't forget to grab a can of cola & a tub of popcorn, just to keep you awake!
L(ov+uc)

Deool

Just imagine...

A barren strech of land, in a beautiful remote village of Maharashtra, where Kesha (Girish Kulkarni) is looking for his wandering cow (Kardi). The search for Kardi leads him to a tree, where he dreams of Dutta (divine trinity). Being a simpleton he discloses this divine revelation to every soul he comes across without a second thought. 

The villagers react in a variety of ways, some believe blindly, some ridicule & some are simply indifferent, but almost everyone is gossiping about it. 

Late in the night, Kesha narrates the incidence to Anna(Dilip Prabhavalkar), who is a firm believer in science. Thus ensues a thought provoking exchange of words.

In the blink of an eye politicions get involved. Bhau (nana patekar), a sly politician, due to political pressures, succumbs to his nephew Appa's  plan of building a dutta temple & transforming the village into a pilgrim attraction. In the drive of building a dutta mandir, the plan to build a hospital takes a backseat.

As we unravel the layers of blind faith & dirty politics we are forced to question our own beliefs. Where once stood an archaeological site now stands a temple, hustle bustle has replaced the serenity & the humble villagers are now calculative capitalists. But is this so bad? Where there was lack once there is abundance now, wealth has replaced poverty & the under confident villagers are now successful entrepreneurs. But is this so good?

The movie ia a fantastic ensemble of a great script, power packed performances, stunning cinematography & outstanding direction.

The only shortcoming of the film is that it portrays the issues but fails to give remedial measures.

A must watch for anyone who has tasted, willingly or unwillingly, the deadly concoction of politics & religion, in short every Indian!

Language shouldn't be a barrier as there are accurate English subtitles.

L(ov+uc)

Shakal Pe Mat Ja

Just Imagine…

Four Innocent Boys, Ankit (Shubh Mukherjee), Dhruv (Prateek Katare), Rohan (Chitrak Bandhopadhyay) and Bulai (Harsh Parekh), being kept in custody by airport security head (Raghubir Yadav) as terror suspects. These “foolish four” are frustrated with life & yearn for recognition. In their quest of making it big by shooting a documentary on 9/11 terror attack, they reach Delhi International Airport restricted area, for a specific “RGV” shot & they get caught by the airport security. I wonder if it is that easy to trespass restricted zones specially on days of “high-alert”!

The Airport security pools in ATS. The ATS officer (Saurabh Shukla) probably was handed several scripts of different movies, which is why he keeps repeating famous dialogues of other movies.

Rohan unlike the ATS officer was handed only one script, the script was probably that of Delly belly. With the uncanny similarity of the character played by Kunal Roy Kapoor & the pornographic & fart jokes, it is difficult to distinguish between the two characters. Hence the confusion of the script arises in the minds of the audience.

Ankit plays the sensible guy. He is an engineer who can diffuse any bomb! You see he has diffused bombs as a part of college project. For Christ’s sake stop wondering which college he is from, it’s a movie & all the characters & situations are fictitious!

Dhruv, Ankit’s brother, has bunked school for the “shoot documentary mission”.

Bulai is a fervent baba beepdev fan, who keeps talking about yoga & spirituality.

With all such mismatched characters & confusion any Indian could predict that there must be an Osama inspired terrorist plotting an attack on that very day! What a coincidence! No brownie points if you guess that these terrorists are just out of the egg & plan their mission pathetically.

And the cherry on top is the “female terrorist” played by Aamna Sharif, who is actually a RAW agent in disguise! Well, Gimmi a break! Aamna? A RAW Agent? A terrorist: not really but may be, given her limited acting skills, she can scare sanity out of the audience! Nevertheless, she does look pretty.

To be fair enough, the movie does have its ups, in form of a few witty jokes & one-liners. Yes I did say “a few”. So watch it with a pinch of salt, a tub of popcorn & a can of cola, only then can you endure it.

L(ov+uc)

Tower Heist

Just imagine...
A high-rise, well maintained, plush building called "The Tower".  In here reside the rich, the powerful & the elite. The most notable amongst whom is Mr Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda), who dupes the hardworking maintenance staff of their pension fund & savings by means of a Ponzi scheme.

Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller) & his team work round the clock to maintain the high standards of the Tower & this is definitely not what they had bargained for. The only way to retrieve their funds is to rob the high security pent house owned by Shaw, which is now on the FBI watch list.

Josh loops in Mr Fitzhugh (a recently divorced bankrupt businessman), Lester (a doorman) who has suicidal tendencies, Enriqe (a newly employed bell-hop) who gets excited & overworked at a drop of a hat. None of whom know how to steal!

Hence Josh decides to involve a "professional" to execute the "plan". The professional he knows is his neighbour Slide (Eddie Murphy), with whom he went to day-care! There comes Eddie Murphy, with perfect comic timing & an elegibility test for the wannabe robbers. He is only a petty thief who steels dish antennas off people's balconies & he has a gun that he puts down at the 1st sight of a police man. On his recommendation Josh recruits Odessa Montero(maid with the "locksmith" background) who loves to eat & seduce.

With so many master mind "criminals" on board what could possibly go wrong? What kind of a plan is it? What kind of training would they have to undergo? How would they execute the plan when quite a few of them are not even allowed entry into the Tower? What if a former accomplice is the new manager at the Tower? & to top it all, what if Josh is falling for an FBI agent?

The movie is a perfectly paced COMEDY, which brings together good script & great acting. What could possibly go wrong in a movie starring Ben Stiller & Eddie Murphy?... everything & yet nothing...

Must watch if u like rib-tickling comedy movies...
L(ov+uc)

The Ides of March

Just Imagine...
The most powerful men on this planet batteling each other in the game of Chess/Politics, where the Queen is the manager of the campaign, the campaign for presidential elections. From the pawns to the Queen & the King, nobody is spotless, every one is battling for their greed, ambitions, career, power, fears, love, hatered & every possible human emotion.

The ides of march is a peek in the lives of these white collored black suited men, who aspire to overcome every obstacle in the path of their success at any cost. It brings to surface the brutal yet realistic aspect of politics & human weakness.

The story is woven around handsome & attractive Pennysylvania governer, Mike Morris (George Cloony), the simple looking Campaign manager Paul Zara (Philip Seymour Hoffman) & the ardent press secratary Stephen Meyers (Ryan Gosling).

Stephen's wit & success attracts attention of not only a young intern (Evan Rachel Woods) but also that of  rival campaign manager Tom Duffy (Paul Giamatti), who offers him a job.

Stephen confesses of his meeting with Tom & the offer to Paul. This is the turning point of the plot. Paul fires Stephen, Tom dosent want him any more. New York Times reporter (Marisa Tomei) gets a scoop of the matter. Is Stephen Doomed? Is he outwitted? Is his political career to end at age 30 only? What would he have to do to get back in the league?

This movie plot has everything associated with politics. Be it blackmailing, betrayal, sex scandal or temptation. Clooney's intent direction keeps us involved with brutal politics & lures us into the superb plot while sustaining the suspence & thrill.

Must watch if you like Intellegent political thrilers.
L(ov+uc)