The Dirty Picture

Just imagine…

A beautiful, voluptuous, sensational & seductive sculpture from Khajurao temple, come to life! That is what Silk (Vidhya Balan) is in this movie! During the 80’s She is “every” man’s fantasy.

The film begins with Reshma running away from her house one day before her scheduled wedding, to become a film star! She somehow makes her living by working with Amma at some south-Indian dhabha like eatery. One fine day, a shooting is stalled, a dancer has not arrived, Reshma is a now the new dancer, assistant director goes gaga while shooting Vidya’s curvaceous body & semi-porn expressions, Director Abraham(Emraan Hashmi) burns the positive of the song, producer -Silva Ganesh adds the song & rereleases the movie & it’s a SENSATION! Men come to watch only the song or rather Reshma!

No one knows who this mystery girl is, Silva Ganesh finds her, just when Reshma has lost all hope. He renames her as SILK! Abraham hates her, as he thinks that there are other “things” in the movie than sex! But Silk is unapologetic about being a sex-siren! “Jab uparwale ne zindagi ek di hai toh do baar kyon sochna?”

Silk goofs up her first big take, coz she is nervous as she sees her “fantasy” Suryakant (Nasaruddin Shah) in front of her! Back in the vanity room she gets her “tuning” right with the actor! And the result is “Ooh la la”.

Acting at its best, is what could be said about the film. Nasaruddin shah, Emraan Hashmi, Tushaar Kapoor, Anju Mahendru, & most of all VIDYA BALAN!  Vidya Balan pulls off the role with flamboyance, vigour, sensuality & BALLS! She is irreplaceable! No other actor alive could have done justice to the role, which requires spontaneity & fire to such an extent! She unreservedly depicts, Silk, who enjoys the “Male” attention & yet desires love, she is surrounded by fans & yet is lonely.

The movie does have its blemishes in form of length, almost like an item song lasting for 2.5 hrs.!, but then that’s what it is meant to be! Also some of the scenes are not so convincing, like the one where Silk unknowingly lands up at a porno-movie shoot in desperation for a role as she needs money & doesn’t even know what to do(whether to leave or stay)! Where is the tea-stall Amma, when she doesn’t have any one to talk to? Moreover Silk’s downward spiral is not as engrossing as her rise to fame or rather infamy (Silk ka naam badnaam hone se hua hai!), so post interval the film seems slow & dragging.

The film is more than "Skin deep" dirty! It brings to surface, what is "dirty" within, be it hypocrisy, scheming, hatered or jealousy!

Overall great Dialogues & greater acting! Watch it for the power packed performances & intelligent one-liners!

Dirty Picture sirf teen cheezon ki wajeh se chalegi, Vidya Vidya aur Vidya!

L(ov+uc)

Desi Boys

Just imagine…

The time of recession, when there is more firing than hiring & more bills to pay than checks to deposit. In such a wretched situation are our lead characters Jerry (Akshay Kumar) & Nik (Jhon Abraham) wherein Jerry has to look after his nephew, veer & Nik has a high-maintenance girlfriend Radhika (Dipika Padukone).

No job, no money & no hope: the only way such a situation is portrayed in a Bollywood movie is by showing sad looking protagonists at a bar trying to get drunk! How cliché! Then enters their saviour Sanjay Dutt, who runs a recession-proof male-escort company, Desi Boys. From then on till the intermission the movie is a costume party, Jerry & Nik dress sometimes as police officers (Mumbai police in UK! & women go gaga!), sometimes role-play male strippers & what not! But in every bachelorette party they “lend” their services, the females dancing in the background seem to be performing a strip show rather than our lead escorts!

As if the situation isn’t worse enough, Radhika catches Nik “red-Handed” & breaks off their engagement & Veer is snatched away from Jerry & sent to foster care. & now on the movie is all about Moral-science! Nik stays in a caravan parked opposite Radhika’s house in order to win her back (Tere ghar ke saamne- another Cliché). In order to make Nik Jealous, Radhika goes on a date (yet another Cliché), with Ajay (Omi Vaidya), who is by far the most genuinely funny character in the entire movie, irrespective of the great garam-Masaledar Jodi of AK & John! Jerry goes back to complete his graduation in order to make himself employable! Enter Chitrangadha as Tanya,an economics professor who plays Strip-Pokery-revision-Quiz with Jerry! Obviously with such a great Quiz mistress & revision sessions Jerry is bound to get his degree & Naukri.

Do not strip if you get the rest of the story right! Jerry gets back the custody of his nephew & Nik his lady love.

It may be the male version of Laaga Chunri mein daag, just a bit funnier. The movie has its witty bits; one-liners & killer PJs that will make you laugh & keep you alive through the movie.

Nothing lost if you decide against watching it; nothing gained if you decide to watch it.

L(ov+uc)

Shakal Pe Mat Ja

Just Imagine…

Four Innocent Boys, Ankit (Shubh Mukherjee), Dhruv (Prateek Katare), Rohan (Chitrak Bandhopadhyay) and Bulai (Harsh Parekh), being kept in custody by airport security head (Raghubir Yadav) as terror suspects. These “foolish four” are frustrated with life & yearn for recognition. In their quest of making it big by shooting a documentary on 9/11 terror attack, they reach Delhi International Airport restricted area, for a specific “RGV” shot & they get caught by the airport security. I wonder if it is that easy to trespass restricted zones specially on days of “high-alert”!

The Airport security pools in ATS. The ATS officer (Saurabh Shukla) probably was handed several scripts of different movies, which is why he keeps repeating famous dialogues of other movies.

Rohan unlike the ATS officer was handed only one script, the script was probably that of Delly belly. With the uncanny similarity of the character played by Kunal Roy Kapoor & the pornographic & fart jokes, it is difficult to distinguish between the two characters. Hence the confusion of the script arises in the minds of the audience.

Ankit plays the sensible guy. He is an engineer who can diffuse any bomb! You see he has diffused bombs as a part of college project. For Christ’s sake stop wondering which college he is from, it’s a movie & all the characters & situations are fictitious!

Dhruv, Ankit’s brother, has bunked school for the “shoot documentary mission”.

Bulai is a fervent baba beepdev fan, who keeps talking about yoga & spirituality.

With all such mismatched characters & confusion any Indian could predict that there must be an Osama inspired terrorist plotting an attack on that very day! What a coincidence! No brownie points if you guess that these terrorists are just out of the egg & plan their mission pathetically.

And the cherry on top is the “female terrorist” played by Aamna Sharif, who is actually a RAW agent in disguise! Well, Gimmi a break! Aamna? A RAW Agent? A terrorist: not really but may be, given her limited acting skills, she can scare sanity out of the audience! Nevertheless, she does look pretty.

To be fair enough, the movie does have its ups, in form of a few witty jokes & one-liners. Yes I did say “a few”. So watch it with a pinch of salt, a tub of popcorn & a can of cola, only then can you endure it.

L(ov+uc)